Task 7: Formal Letter (Self-Introduction)
Dear Professor Brad
I am Nur Syahirah Binte Shafie, a student in your Effective Communication module. I am writing to introduce more about myself. I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Green Building and Sustainability. I became interested in architectural engineering while going through the Green Building Modeling and Simulation module in polytechnic. Hence, I decided to pursue a Degree in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services).
Based on my personal experiences, I am an active listener and an example can be derived from my work experience in an infrastructure department. I was tasked to do product research on countertop guards by my supervisor who did not specify specific details. I found the various designs of the product and had to clarify with him to narrow down my searches.
Meanwhile, I struggle to be spontaneous in my communication. For example, during my final year project presentation in polytechnic, I blanked out in answering an impromptu question from my lecturer. Due to anxiety, I had provided an incorrect answer – stating that our designed ramp will be installed in the bus instead of under the bus as presented in my project. Nonetheless, my weakness can be my potential strength in the right context such as providing structured plans.
One of my goals for this module is to be more confident presenter; being calm and poised helps me to become a competent and engaging speaker. Another goal is to be able to share my idea clearly; being concise help others to easily comprehends my messages and effectively produced desired outcomes.
One of my unique traits is my ability to empathize with others and view the world through different lenses, adapting to flexibilities. I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and frequently experience panic attacks. Thus, I am able to understand others who faced similar challenges as me.
I hope that the contents of this email have provided a brief insight into my background.
Thank you.
Regards
Syahirah
(Gave feedback to Asher, Daniiel, and Farhanah)
Hey Syahirah
ReplyDeleteGreat letter! I liked the way you explained everything in detail with the given examples. I do however, feel that some sentences could be better connected. But we're here to learn and I hope your communication and presentation skills will improve in this module!
Hi Syahirah, thank you for you clear and concise letter. I'm glad that I read it and got to know you a little more. However, I feel that some sentences can be improved a little, but do feel free to correct me if I'm wrong:
ReplyDelete1. I think that it should not be "Based on my personal experiences," that you are an active listener, but instead, you are an active listener already and you can continue to elaborate more based on your own experience.
2. "I am an active listener and an example can be derived from my work experience in an infrastructure department. " - In my opinion, "can be derived" seems like a weird choice of word to use. Maybe you could use "in which from my work experience.." after "I am an active listener" and then proceed to elaborate a bit more.
3. a little grammatical error in "help others to easily comprehends my messages and effectively produced desired outcomes." where "comprehends" should be "comprehend" and "produced" should be "produce".
Overall, I think that it is a good short introductory letter. I'm pretty sure by the end of this module, we can all come out to be better than we first started out. So do not worry, and take things one at a time.
Regards,
Aceline
Hey Syahirah, great letter. I just loved the way you wrote this letter, the way you gave examples and elaborated more on the main points you talked about. As per said, I think some of the sentences didn’t have a good flow from one to another, I hope the flow and transitions can be made better in the future.Lastly,I think the language used in this letter is good.
ReplyDeleteDear Syahirah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this thoughtful letter. It's interesting to me how your studying in one module in poly bore such fruit. Was it the content alone that inspired you, or did you have a good lecturer?
I also like the way that you present your thoughts on your comm skills strengths and weaknesses and your goals for the module. Indeed, you articulate your ideas using clear examples, which makes this communication impactful. You also advance the idea that a weakness can become a positve as long as it is handled correctly. With such a positive attitude, I'm quite certain that you'll prove yourself capable of being a great engineer in the future. Excelling in the SIE programme would be a fine first step.
There is one area in this text tat can be reviewed:verb issues.
-- stating that our designed ramp will be installed in the bus instead of under the bus as presented in my project. > (tense)
stating that our designed ramp would be installed in the bus instead of under the bus as presented in my project.
-- being concise help others to easily comprehends > (subject-verb agreement and verb form) ?
-- others who faced similar challenges as me. > (not confined to one time) others who face similar challenges as me.
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad